I grew up in a time and place where there was a right and wrong. I usually did what was right. People said I should get work experience, so in high school I got a job, and except for a couple of short stints while I was going to college full time, I've work pretty consistently for the last 37 years. I went to college and got a degree. I never got caught doing drugs or driving under the influence. I even avoided piercings and tattoos that might keep people from judging me fairly.
Now, at 50+ years old, I decided my life has been a complete and total waste. There was so much I didn't do because I didn't want to risk my future, and now that I'm living my future, it sucks. I'm bankrupt and can't answer my phone because I don't want to deal with the collection agents that start calling at 7 or 8 every morning.
The fun toys I have accumulated are being repossessed or in danger of being liquidated to pay credit card bills.
People with lower education and less experience that me are being offered promotions they don't apply for, while I'm blown off for what I do apply for.
My house if a health department nightmare and a house fire waiting to happen, and no one in the family will pick up a single piece of trash or even put a piece of dirty clothes in the laundry basket. I haven't even been able to sleep in my own bedroom for months, sleeping instead in the basement. Friends that knew me years ago would be surprised to learn that at the moment my bathroom is the cleanest room in the whole house!
I have to wonder what I bothered for. What good did the school do me? Did I benefit from not having a criminal record? If I were covered in tattoos would my job be any more of a dead end than it is now? At 52+ years old, is it even worth trying to to do anything, or should I go buy a ki and get high...fuck the drug tests. What the hell do I have to look forward to!!
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